The psychology of emigration: how to cope with stress when moving to Luxembourg
Psychotherapy is not a fad or a whim, but an urgent need in modern society. When stress levels reach critical levels, hidden problems that we may not have been aware of or did not consider important come to the surface.
Has demand for therapy changed since the war began?
I can't say that there has been a significant increase in requests since the war began. The main surge came with COVID. It's probably easier to explain in numbers. I used to work 20 hours a week, and now I'm up to 35-40 hours. Almost twice as much.
Most of my clients, probably 98%, are Ukrainians. This includes those who have moved to Luxembourg. There are also clients from other countries: North and South America, Europe, Australia, and New Zealand.
A separate part of my practice involves working with teenagers. And their numbers have increased significantly over the last year. This is due to general stress. Most of the requests are for help with adaptation and depression: homesickness, missing friends, missing their usual lifestyle.
Parental stress also has an impact. Moving house, losing a job — children are more sensitive to all of this. Adults adapt more easily. They are more likely to be working, and they build social circles more quickly. Plus, they have access to forms of entertainment that children do not. Children have very limited opportunities, in fact.
What people most often ask about
People's requests have hardly changed in recent years. Paradoxically, when people's stress levels reach a critical point, the problems they already had are exacerbated: work, family, friends, relationships. This applies both to those who simply moved to another country and those who fled, for example, from war.
The only things that have been added are the inability to plan one's life and not knowing what to do next. These are still depressive states and anxiety-depressive disorders.
Anxiety and depression are not the same thing. Anxiety disorders are characterised by sleep problems. For example, a person may be unable to fall asleep or wake up constantly in the middle of the night. They are overwhelmed by thoughts that they cannot shake off. Of course, increased anxiety exacerbates the somatic condition. If there were any psychosomatic issues, they are now actively manifesting themselves.
Women begin to experience gynaecological problems and stomach issues. But in general, anxiety can develop into panic attacks in people.
A panic attack is very similar to a heart attack. People go to cardiologists, but they can't help. The heart is healthy, there are no pathologies. And I am very grateful to the specialists for explaining that a panic attack cannot be treated with heart and blood vessel medication, but requires psychotherapy.
But what about people? They want a pill to make everything go away quickly. I often work with gynaecologists, endocrinologists and gastroenterologists — doctors who deal with the main side effects of constant anxiety. They refer people straight to therapy. Not even to a neurologist, but specifically to a psychotherapist.
I really love medicine and always try to convince my clients not to neglect their physical condition. I encourage them to take vitamins and magnesium supplements and to engage in physical activity.
A healthy body means a healthy mind. Nowadays, this is more relevant than ever.
Our body is a holistic system. It constantly carries our psycho-emotional load, so we must always work comprehensively — both psychologically and physically.
Depression is a different condition, although it is similar in some ways. First, there are no obsessive anxious thoughts. Secondly, it is a state of apparent calm. The person becomes sluggish in their activities. Nothing makes them happy: they do not want to see their friends, they do not want to pursue their hobbies, they do not want to do anything at all. Sometimes they just sleep all the time, or, conversely, they can hardly sleep at all.
Depression arises from an imbalance in the body's higher hormones. The imbalance can be so severe that certain hormones simply stop being produced. Clinical depression is an illness that is treated by a psychiatrist with medication.
Although anxiety-depressive disorder and depression are different things, if you do not address your condition for a long time, it is easy to slip into depression.
If you feel that you need help, don't put it off.
The emergency medical services number in Luxembourg is 112. You can also receive emergency care at hospitals in Luxembourg or visit one of the on-call medical centres (Maisons Médicales).
Helplines:
- SOS Distress — a general crisis hotline for people who need help or are prone to suicide. Telephone: 45 45 45 (open from 11:00 to 23:00, until 03:00 on Fridays and Saturdays).
- Kanner-Jugendtelefon — crisis hotline for children and young people. Call: 116 111.
- Femmes en Détresse — a crisis helpline for women. Telephone: 12344.
- Domestic violence hotline — 2060 1060 (open daily from 12:00 to 20:00).
Some of these lines may not have English equivalents. You may need a translator from French or German.
What is the difference between a psychiatrist and a psychotherapist?
A psychiatrist is a doctor. They are people with medical training who treat illnesses. This mainly involves medication to help balance the hormones of the higher nervous system and neurotransmitters. They also treat pathological disorders that require hospitalisation, such as schizophrenia or epilepsy.
Psychotherapists are most often humanities specialists. These professionals deal with the mental state of relatively healthy people. But there are often times when we work in pairs.
For example, a psychiatrist prescribes pills for clinical depression, but also sends the patient to therapy. Because if a person has reached this state, it means that something in their life is not right. And during the sessions, we try to get to the root of the problem and fix it.
Most often, people's problems are related to shame, guilt, and fear. These are the three emotions that will lead them to a psychotherapist's office.
When to seek help
If a person realises that they have a problem, that's half the battle. If they understand where the problem stems from, they will be able to solve it. Nowadays, minor difficulties can be overcome independently, largely thanks to the abundance of publicly available information.
Even on social media, Instagram, and TikTok, you can find videos in which people share how to cope with anxiety.
But you need to be careful here. The internet is very large, and not all of the information there is reliable. Sometimes it is worth checking the background of a person who is telling you about psychotherapy or medical matters.
If he is a doctor, has an education, practical experience, and some merits, that's one thing. But if a person worked as a salesperson for 10 years and now talks about Gestalt therapy after taking a few courses, it's worth thinking about whether you should completely trust his words.
Nevertheless, there are now many exercises available in the public domain that can help in various situations. You can find them, figure out which ones are suitable, and start practising. It helps.
This advice isn't from psychology, but from my great-grandmother: "You can interact with others however you want, but you don't have the right to lie to yourself." If a person can avoid lying to themselves, then they are capable of dealing with problems on their own.
Is it possible to discourage people from self-diagnosis?
That's a good question. I think that, first and foremost, we need to increase the amount of information that is freely available. Thanks also to the doctors who explain what and how.
In addition, we need to help people change their perception of therapy. This is especially true in the CIS countries, where many people still view seeing a psychiatrist or psychotherapist as a punitive measure. Unfortunately, this is a legacy of the Soviet Union. Back then, if you ended up in a psychiatrist's office and were registered, that was it — you could kiss your career and your life goodbye.
I spent quite a lot of time explaining to people what therapy is and how it differs from psychiatry. It's good that younger generations now have a positive attitude towards such sessions. Teenagers often ask their parents to take them to therapy, while older people are indignant: "Why do you need it?" and so on.
How to cope with homesickness while living abroad
It is possible and necessary to work with emotions and experiences. Here is a short list of recommendations on how to do this: