Trump demands renaming a street in Luxembourg

There was a surprising announcement from Washington: all streets named after John Fitzgerald Kennedy are to be renamed - not just in the United States, but around the world. The reason? According to former US President Donald Trump, the JFK assassination case has been "finally solved" and therefore it is time to say goodbye to the symbolic legacy of the 35th president.

"Many boulevards are named after Kennedy only because of his assassination, not because of his outstanding policies," Trump said on Truth Social. In his view, now that "the truth has been restored," the past can be closed off - including the plaques on the streets.

The initiative was prompted by the publication of some 88,000 previously classified documents related to the JFK assassination investigation. The Trump administration began the declassification process back in 2017, which was continued under President Joe Biden. Today, the White House claims 99.99% of the material indicates that Lee Harvey Oswald's killer acted alone. According to Trump's logic, the memory of the tragedy is no longer relevant and the symbolism around JFK's name should be removed.

Boulevard Kennedy in Kirchberg, one of Luxembourg's most famous business districts, is also on the "to be renamed" list. But it is not the only one: most EU countries have streets, squares, bridges and institutions named after Kennedy.

Each country must now audit the names and report to Washington exactly where the changes have been made. Municipalities are obliged to send photos of the new signs, which will be placed in a special online gallery on the White House website.

But there is a nuance: no financial assistance for renaming is offered by Washington. Nevertheless, cities "have the right to submit a request for support" to the American capital. All costs are on the conscience of local authorities. In the near future, Google cars will drive through the streets again to record the updated names.

If countries do not want to participate in the initiative, sanctions may await them. Among the measures under discussion are mandatory purchases of Tesla and X shares, as well as diplomatic cooling.

To monitor the process, a plaque-scanning satellite will be sent into space, with Elon Musk's SpaceX providing the launch.

At the same time, the White House announced that JFK International Airport in New York will be renamed Donald J Trump Airport, with the new code DJT. The Kennedy Space Centre in Florida remains an open question, but rumour has it that Ilon Musk is "full of hope" here as well.

April Fools' Day!